Suicide Is Not a Decision Taken Overnight 

A stool under my legs.

Hate in my heart.

Pain in my mind.

Noose around my neck.

Shame in my eyes. 

Guilt in my head. 

I had made up my mind. 

I ran out of options. 

I ended myself. 

Last year, this week, I lost one of my schoolmates, who fell victim to our educational system and discouraging society. He lived right in the next block. We travelled the same road to school every day, albeit talking much. And one evening, I received the news of his demise.

Had I seen it coming? Yes.

Did it shock me? Yes. 

Does failing twice in 11th grade, and continual discouragement by the very people who you depend upon for moral support, regressed under the burdens of parental and societal expectations, drive you to the limit that you decide to take your own life?

Suicide is not limited to a distressed few. Any individual on Planet Earth may be vulnerable to suicide due to different reasons.

Depression and stress are two of the primary reasons.

When an individual chooses to commit suicide, he or she is choosing “flight” instead of “fight.”

Depression can affect anyone, be it the rich or the poor, being the leading causes of death worldwide. It can be prevented if help is sought out at the right moment.

However, because depression goes largely undetected, the chances of suicide increase.

Depression comes in waves.

Some days it feels as though you’re in a drought and some days you’re drowning, swallowing water until your thoughts are soaked and decaying from the salt.

And not much can help you.

Primarily in India, students may commit suicide when examinations draw nearer or when the results of these examinations are declared. Examination stress is not the sole reason for students opting to end their lives. The type of relationships they share with their family members and friends is equally crucial.Read More »

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Deadroses

He looked at her.

She was sitting in a chair, sipping coffee and holding a book in one of her hands.

He was standing one block away down the street with a bunch of fresh lilies in his hand. Today is the day, he thought.

Today, I speak and she listens.

Today, I tell her that I love her, regardless of her feelings for me. The traffic was sparse and he waited for the vehicles to halt. A colorful band of cars drove past him, but his eyes were glued to the girl he loved hopelessly.

He cleared his mind and started walking as the signal turned green. Each step was heavier than the previous and his body felt a deep chill. He was nervous and gripped the fresh lilies tightly.

As he walked towards her, a bright light flashed from above him and he vaporized into the air, not knowing that he was being abducted by a group of aliens.

(I fooled you. Well it’s April. Now that I have got your attention, let me begin the real story.)
*

His tormented, suffocated soul gaped at the lifeless body that lay in front of him.

He was too angry with himself. He walked slowly to her dead body and kissed her feet.

It was cold and numb as his life right now; sans the warmth of love and happiness. Her eyes were shut and her skin was dull and pale.

She was dead, her organs had ceased to function, blood forbidden to flow and her lungs refrained from contracting and expanding.

He had killed her, his own wife, his partner for the last thirty years.Read More »