What’s Wrong With Indian TV?

I’ve often wondered if Indian TV/film writing would ever reach a point where they expect the viewers to get smarter as they watch the show, perhaps watch it multiple times before they can hope to understand a fraction of what the director/writer/creator intended. Where it only makes full sense if they pretty much tell you what they intended in post-production presentations. And not anally reveal every detail like –

“I will now give him a cup so he can hold it, and we will get fingerprints.”

“Sir you are so brilliant sir!”

Or the exaggerated whispering in the ear of another person to tell them“secret” – when there are only two people in the room. 

“Sir, forensics found 3 bullets from his body”

“Do you know what this mean?”

“No sir. You are my superior. I will be privileged if you solve this mystifying riddle for me!”

“This means that he was killed by a GUNSHOT!”

You have to be a fucking Nostradamus to predict what’s gonna come next. Even a 4year old can understand this shit. But wait, this ain’t Nickelodean. Dora solves cases faster than you goddamnit. This is supposed to be the mainstream general Hindi entertainment -.- Entertaining only for people with double digit IQs.

But, I’m pleased to say the new Hindi movie – “Yeh Bhi Munkin Hai” starring Ranbir and Deepika, does get close in terms of verbal dueling and quantum leaps. The movie was of course based on the popular Tamil hit, “Midiyaadhu” (Cannot be done) which was loosely based on the Malayalam masterpiece, “Pansaaram.” (Lameness) 

Awww. I kid you – no such thing happened. We just have Sasural Simar Ka, CID and Balika Vadhu and other sorts of nonsense. No intellectual orgasms of any sort happens in any of these movies/shows today. Reasonably good writing, in a few, if you’ve had a little to drink – sure. But Moffat/Gilligan-level writing, I’m going to have to check the status in 2904 and let you know if we get there. ._.

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