Addiction

He raised the needle with trembling hands and brought it close to his arm. His hand shook with the effort as he failed to find the proper vein. He finally found the right spot on his arm which was colored with various cuts of red, blue and black, due to the blotched attempts. As the needle sunk in his skin and the heroin hijacked into his bloodstream, he sighed and sat back, letting the drug work its magic.

He had been an addict ever since he could remember.

And then he met her. She was his caretaker in is rehabilitation center.

They fell in love, as she nursed him back to health.

He could never understand how she loved a degenerate as him, but he never questioned her love. They found happiness in each other and they sealed this happiness with marriage. She became pregnant, and he was afraid for the child.

No child deserved a father who had a past like his. A drug addict, a man who had done nothing he was ever proud of, how could he be a worthy parent?

But she quelled all his fears, assured him that he was not the man of his past. Showed him that he was a new man with a new life and he had everything to be proud of. After that, he could not wait for the nine months to be over and hold the tiny little child that was a part of him.

And then the accident happened. They were going to the hospital for her check-up. It was a bright, sunny spring day. The driver who had smashed into their car had lost control because of a sudden heart attack. The guy’s SUV had come speeding and smashed into their car at the intersection.

They had been singing along to the radio happily and then the next thing they know their car was thrown into the air and crashed to the ground. Her side of the car was destroyed completely, the door curving inwards where the SUV hit it. The glass shattered and tore at her skin, the jagged metal penetrated her flesh. The impact of the crash killed her at once.

He remembered her only scream, as they hurtled through the air in the car; that split second as their hearts pounded, not knowing how bad the fall would be. He was saved somehow as the onlookers called the ambulance in time.

He did not want to be saved, he wanted to be buried beside her.

He found solace in heroin once more, slipping into the addiction that had taken ages to get over.

He did not remember anything, the days merged into one another. He had no idea when the sun rose or set. He had no idea when was the last time he had left his apartment. He didn’t remember the last time he had eaten something. He couldn’t even recall when he had pissed; recently, on the couch, the smell told him.

He just wanted to numb the pain. And it would go away when he sunk the needle in his arm and inject the heroin in his system.

The drugs would make him forget.

They put him into a dream where everything was happy once more.

He could no more remember what she looked like.

He forgot the sound of her laughter.

He only had a faint recollection of her skin being the softest thing he had ever touched.

Only the sound of her scream as the car crashed into the sidewalk resounded in his ears.

It echoed over and over until the heroin would stop his brain from functioning.

His addiction was his only escape.

He got over his addiction to heroin by falling in love with her.

But he could not get over his addiction to her. He died of an overdose, trying to drown the sounds of her scream.

In death, he heard her musical laughter echoing in his ears once again.

In death, he wore a smile.

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “Addiction

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s